I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
