i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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