your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
accomplished twins. life is a go
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
