i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
