i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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