Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
