Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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