she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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