Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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