ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
