Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
