Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
we made out on top of his cat.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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