I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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