Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
