I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
