What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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