I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
