Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Everyone says I win the strip club
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize
