I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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