Buhtt sex?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
