I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
