I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
