we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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