He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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