Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
