Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
