They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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