And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
