Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I could make wine with my vomit
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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