im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize