New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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