the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
