There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
