She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
It's shark week go big or go home
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
