He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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