Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
