She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I just found puke in my bra..
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
