You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
That accounts for only three of the penises
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
