I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I need help removing her.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
