just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
