If that was your dad, he is hot
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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