I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
