we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
