You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
