dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
