You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
