She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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