oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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