My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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