party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
