I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
