My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
