phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
