This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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