so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
